Hit the "pause" button

Had stupid meeting yesterday. Hated it- like expected. Was crap- like expected.
Have to now persevere to be focused-on-the-ball-ice-queen.

Father spoke to me in the car yesterday about me and J was the most embarassing thing ever
him: it will break your mothers heart if you end up in a mess with him
me: we're not doing anything
him: don't insult my intelligence
him: better get you on the pill
me: we're not
him: well whats wrong with you both? must be something wrong somewhere? Is he gay?
-.-

First day back after meeting (Today) was okay have a headache though. On period so very emotional at the moment. I remember nearly crying at something today although I can't remember what. I'm sure it was nothing.

Was Arthurs funeral today. Kelly went and I saw her with her hair down. She looked nicer.
Food at work sucked today and the filling is building up -.-
Alfie is being not strange...but different to me...I sense it...and it's not different in a good way.
But whatever.

Texted bambi at work...got worried because got no reply but called her just and she seems ok :) (although my phone cut out because I ran out of credit) She is so good when I'm feeling low. thank goodness i have her.

Also rang J before work. Fat lot of use he is. He can ring me from now on. Anyway with me concentrating on work I won't be able to see him much in the coming weeks. When I broke this to him he seemed un-phased. I thought he'd whine until kingdom come like he normally does. Infact today he said that I should see Bambi before him! I agreed of course. Strange...But again...whatevers.

My father just told me that a 34 y.o man got raided where my 1/2 brother lives and they found what seems to be a make shift bomb. I really hope it's not my half brother. I can't see why he would make a bomb maybe someone put it there. I don't see him very often but each time I do he's nice. Abit odd, dopey and a dreamer like me. But harmless of course! My father said when he was my age he dated the prettiest girl in the school...He went away for something for a couple of weeks and when he came back she was with his bestfriend! My father said after that he wasn't right and dabbled in drugs and such, never worked either.

I don't think he has anyone.
His mum is all loved up and is in London.
My father just called his house phone. Noone's picking up. It's not looking good.