R.I.P Gandma. I kept retyping this but all I really want to say is I'm sorry, I love you so much and I hope you are at rest in heaven with gandpa and that I'll make you really proud oneday. I pomise.

swag.

Feel not me. Feel like lost touch with emotions. Feel blunt and flippant. Hope it goes.

Amber McNamara

I never in a zillion years thought i'd find the other half of me.
I'd die without you- You know it's true. I couldn't go on.

'Cause I'm me not you

Feeling me: sensitive, vain, smiley and so on...
But did something out of character for me. I was bitchy to my father. Won't go into details - But I didn't like the way he spoke to me. I've never liked the way he speaks to me or mum for that matter. So today I played him at his own game. He of course didn't have anything to say of much relevance so came to the somewhat predictable conclusion that I have a "attitude" and "not to use it with him -ramble, ramble- will kick my ass out of the house".

I also have the urge to be near the beach you know with the sea air, lapping water, sun and birds. I always get that feeling when I feel more me. I always feel so content by the sea. It's wierd. Even if the weather is bad with rain and the waves are crashing. I still love it. No...nothing beats the sea. Has to be my favourite place of all.

Dive into a sea of..interesting faces! :)

Taxi driver: you have very interesting features. It's good.

Bambi: You have an interesting face. Interesting faces are the best faces!

Above -Lindsey Wixon, Model

Above- Astrid berges-frisbey, Actress

Above - Kristen Stuart, Actress

Above - Maggie Q, Actress

Above - Shelby Coleman, Model

Above - Me!

Jeni hates you all

So me and Bambi went to Jane's yesterday. It was meh. I gave bare evilz to people who I hate (as I know what they have done before they even speak to me)
-sigh- seems like there are only a handful of decent people in the world at times.
I have my faults too so I guess I'll stop ranting right now.

I really hope Bambi got some rest and is feeling bettter. She's a real rockstar. Bit by a big dog, tetinus jab and away she goes to a party looking gawjuss too. Dickface decided to show afterall. It was funny because all the boys walked past all tall and lean and then there he was all short and shuffling past us trying to fit in. What was even better was Bambi said she didn't really feel anything when he went past.

Had to do gardening with my stupid father. He makes loads of noise while I'm sleeping at around 6 then -He wakes me up at nine - starts shouting and ordering me around. He is the only real pain in my life.

J took me to see hangover 2 - was good but no where near as good as the first. J bought some new clothes too. He looks nice. He's insanely happy atm. Although he did call me thurs night and we had a wierd convo-
J: I had a strange feeling today when I went round to my dads...there was this guy, Jack and I thought when I saw him - He is going to take you away from me - he's the one for you
Me: wha?
J: -repeats-
Me: What do you mean? I don't even know this guy right?
J: Yea I know but you don't love me..so I thought you could fall in love with him
Me: I don't even know him..that is weird.
J: so I have nothing to be worried about right?
Me: I'm not going to dignifiy that q with an answer -.-

Been to church with mum. J tried to get me to see him today too but meh so tired. I'm just going to chill. I'm gonna do ziltch. Maybe watch some more louis theroux doc's. I do love them <3

Appetite is good atm. Days go soo fast. Not enough hours in the day.

Saw another peircing I want. Its on the hand - inbetween your thumb and finger.I may get this too.
I told J and typical thing he said: won't that hurt me when ur pleasuring me?
URGH.

Wore the gladiator sandals to Jane's. I guess I'll keep them now cuz mum says they won't accept them now lol

Been thinking and it is so sad about my brother. I really hope so much he doesn't go to prison. I mean what would he do in there. someone as meek as him wouldn't last for long behind bars surely! :/

what a scenario

I'm seeing Bambi ina minute shes coming to mine! :D I've missed her soo much. With work and her feeling sleepy haven't seen her much this week. we need a good catch up.

Theres a cute guy at work that's just started. He's like some blonde angel - and boy he knows it.
I got him a uniform to try on and he kinda turns round and flicks his hair, tries on the uniform...adjusts the collar like pose-y model person looks at me and says "does this look alright? or can't you tell?"
And I'm like O.O -sigh, blush, fidget- urm..yea
-girl hes with on induction (i think she likes him) gives me bare evilz-
:L

I had to sit in on a meeting and take notes yesterday with a colleague and the manager.
I wonder what it's like to be in charge of everyone  - To decide who to sack, who to give a second chance and stuff. I couldn't do it myself. Too much responsibility.
All in all I'm trying alot harder at work. And I'll be really upset if they don't take me on. I have got quite settled there.

Things with J are getting me down. He tried to get me kiss him down south. I really wasn't feeling it.

Sometimes I feel like I miss being me.
That may sound crazy but before all this shite I knew who I was. I was so strong. Like in myself, I knew What was right and wrong. What I should let go and hold onto...

Bambis here :D

....So just seen Bam...I  missed her so much, felt emo first seeing her.
I wish I could see her more but I'll see her on saturday. Ah I feel me around her. I wish she didn't have to go... :(

Btw...It was my brother where they found that make-shift bomb. They say he'll go down for 14 years. Sad times. I'll visit him. He'll need his family around. Someone should've been looking after him!